Hold me.
I’ll melt right into you, then let go.
Let go of worries and concerns,
Things that weigh me down or crank me up.
Don’t want you to assume them,
Would not allow you to.
But I know
In your embrace
I AM safe.
I AM free
To release
The things that bind
And prevent
Me
From being
Completely
Me.
Moving through the heavy fog of fear,
I am encumbered by
“What-if?”
“What now?”
“What next?”
Eyes darting, arms outstretched,
I search for safety,
Grasp for what I know.
Keenly, I listen.
And hear each sound that ere was mere white noise.
Panic sets down roots and grows.
The fog of fear moves in,
Compressing my space,
My place,
In My world.
Denser. Thicker. Fed by confusion and alarm.
Until I realize
This fog is of my own creation.
I, unprotected, unaware, let it in.
I let it thrive,
Feeding it the dung another spewed and I empowered.
But no more.
Take back your shit.
Or let it rot and spoil the world in which you live.
I, from here forward, refuse
To let
You
In.
Or let you win.
Touché.
Hear the door,
The phone.
Calculate time.
Too early?
Too late?
Tension building in the shoulders.
Bad news?
Tension…in the neck.
Consider
Statistics, probabilities.
…In the tummy.
Know them,
Respect them,
Skirt around them, aware.
…The gut.
Account for each character
In life’s elaborate play.
Anyone missing?
Vulnerable?
Are they all still alive?
Am I ready
If they’re not?
She had to go.
Her presence, mere existence, was a risk.
We could
Dress her up,
Change her look,
Modify her body,
Dye her hair.
To No Avail.
She was
Traceable,
Trackable,
Hackable.
So now she’s gone.
…
“What appears to be success is not success.” he said.
…
It’s never really that simple.
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