For The Good Husband and me, ’08 and ’09 were years of living large. We traveled and entertained to excess, ate rich and highly lauded food, drank exceptional wines, danced into the wee hours and on and on. We had the kind of fun our age-mates enjoyed nearly thirty years ago while we were busy having and raising babies.
He found this busy life exhilarating. I found it exhausting, and yearned for simplicity.
Now finally, he too, is weary. ( Thank God! I was ready to suggest separate houses and regular rendezvous so that I could get some rest.) Over the holidays we created a new plan based on the realization that we have and appreciate everything we need. We’ve adopted a “paring down” approach to 2010. I am thrilled!
Turning 50 (and the four months it took to understand what that meant for me) undoubtedly contributed to my values clarification. Another key factor: For the first time in a decade, all my children are healthy and well, and I am free from the onus of getting them to this juncture. I’ve reached an amazing place in my life and I relish it.
Now, calm, content and focused, I embrace this new decade with confidence, joy and a surer sense of self. I will write, garden and practice yoga more. I will covet, spend and want less. Most importantly, I will love.
In the midst of this past decade, a close friend on the threshold of death said, “You have loved me well.” No words impacted me more. So I rededicate my time better to correspond to my values, and hope all to whom I’m connected can utter the same when I pass that divide. In the spirit of this desire, beginning now and with myself, I will love. I will love well.
I started my Do Less last year, which included having less junk around. Keeping what’s important to me.
This is I’m more Doing Less, more of what makes life valuable to those I love and those whose life I may touch.
I think loving well is part of doing less — less material, more of value.
I couldn’t agree more with you, Susan. Loving well has very little to do with things and everything to do with time. Glad you came and commented. Happy 2010 to you and yours. I always keep you, your family and most especially your son, in warm, loving thoughts.
I am mostly a “keep it simple” kind of girl. I am energized by solitude the way some people are by large social gatherings. I prefer one-on-one time with friends and small gatherings with family. I need space in my schedule and in my head. I don’t crave luxury experiences the way some people do. I don’t walk through a huge and beautiful house and think, “Wow, I wish I lived here.”
That said, my family is emerging from a lean and stressful financial period that lasted years. So many lessons learned, including a reminder that “loving well” is enough. But this Christmas we were finally able to cut loose a bit and indulge in those ordinary things we do enjoy and it felt really good. Yes, we’ve proved that we can do without and be happy, but we’ve also learned how much we can appreciate the extras that come our way.
I’m starting to think both scenarios are good for us: times of plenty (even a bit of excess) as well as the times of less (even want). The key is to be mindful, and as you said, love well in all situations.
We should all love well…..Enjoy our lives and forget our own petty desires.
I have begun to enjoy simple moments spent with loved ones…..The joy of good conversation and the healing properties of laughter.