Jul 192010
Anxiety
Returned to me.
Why?
We had an agreement,
You and I.
We worked it through, we made a deal, I figured you’d be gone.
But no.
Recognizing destination, path and plan ~ you came along.
WTH?
Habit? Memory? Trauma exacted long ago?
Irrelevant!
Damn you and be warned:
You’re unwelcome.
Your tricks and games, old news.
I’m movin’ on no matter how you coax and woo.
I don’t need you.
Get it?
GO.
I AM in control.
Tell me... How do you react to, banish, deal with anxiety?
Share what works, what doesn't, your thoughts on the topic.
6 Responses to “Anxiety Returned to Me”
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When I was younger, I sought company when I felt anxious. Just having someone with me, even if we were just parked on a sofa watching TV or eating sandwiches together helped. Sometimes going to the movies in a theater and disappearing into that time/space helped me.
If I am fearful or anxious about a specific thing, I confront it head on. I imagine my “worst case scenario” and tell myself that I’m strong and I have good friends/family and I imagine the steps I’d take to deal with the situation I’m afraid of. Reminding myself that I can’t control what happens but I can control my response.
Middle of the night anxiety demands I get up, turn on lights, walk around, get a drink of water, and get grounded in the present, then go back to bed.
Anxiety was a bigger problem for me when I was a child and young adult. It hasn’t “visited” much in middle age.
Four days without pilates or yoga, sitting in a car for hours at a time, and “mid-life hormones-at-a-rave” contributed to the rush and surge in my chest, heart, mind. I know how to feel good and my body quickly informs when I’ve ignored that knowledge.
As a child I learned some not so healthy ways of handling my anxiety and other emotions by ignoring & pretending they were not happening. Being able to disassociate had its advantages as a child and took me almost 30yrs of adult life to realize my coping methods were not working for me.
I can’t say I embrace my anxiety, but I have learned it is a part of life. Exercise & diet do help, but staying away from denial helps even more. So I pray and some days I am just a bit anxious.
Acceptance is a big lesson for me to learn in this life. I experience opportunities to do so over and over again. Your last sentence is the perfect accepting approach.
As with all of my emotions- I believe they are fluid moving through me if I allow them to. I think they need to be. I feel things passionately, it enriches my life, and then I move on. When I ignore or stifle them, I get stuck. I hate being stuck- more than I hate being anxious.
There are things that propel me out of bed- absolutely – I deal with them as much as I can (making sure my child is not in a diabetic coma is the number one propellant)and then I move on………. well most of the time. :)
Wisdom, Sarah. I appreciate your sharing it. ~K