Her ~ THe StEAmpUnk VErsiON
blue shoes
velvet not suede, bowed, her feet adorn
best used for shit-kicking the blues
fueled by Crazy Horse, Neil and
booze
bangles
chimes tinkling in a forearm storm
old news, long-employed ruse
to cover old scars and
tattoos
ensemble
purple, gold, refusing to conform
scents ooze, not sure who’s whose
while silk, velvet shield new
bruise
halo
atop lined visage, firethorn
diffuse gray hair flying loose
natural red-head myth dis-
abused
companion
adoring brown eyes rheumy, warm
once muse, now the one to abuse
her affections long his to
misuse
countenance
calm, accomplished, weary, worn
bemused, weary, worn, over-used
on the prowl, blame and
accuse
contented
resented
take your cues or
lose
It sounds as if she is one hell of a woman! lol
She must be!
I really, really like this Kim. The feel of almost two voices interlocking and weaving. The internal rhymes and the alliteration. Love it.
Never conform that’s what I say… this woman seems to have the strength not to… and good for her! Love how you have woven this together… very steampunk I think!
majorally creative. love the rainbow colors and lyrical quality.
I love this. The result of blending the two is brilliant.
Kim, this is BEYOND FUN!!!! I’m smiling ear-to-ear. Last year my husband and I were at a 70 year old’s b-day/dinner-dance party. My husband doesn’t like dancing but then they played the twist. We looked at each other, got up and let loose (we’re in the same generation as your lady). Such fun although the next day we thought about chiropractic! Loved it!
I have to say–this is the definition of steampunk. And finely written poetry as well! Good blending of complex personality–very few people are 100% saint or sinner, but flow between the two. I like it!
dang…nice back and forth between the two situations…very creative in your approach…ugh on the abuse….i could see this almost like two side by side videos…the hiding of abuse, ack…great close line as well….nicely done..
Loved this, Kim. It was like reading a conversation between the different verses! Loved the back and forth.
Fun contrasting images and scripts!
two different voices in this…tough topic but really interesting how you approached it…works well..
Whew! Take care! She has a lot of energy and verve. k.
Clever interweaving of the two perspectives and use of form for the contrasting voices
I’m a gonna have ter come back to this. All I’m sure of just now is that I like it – a lot – but I don’t know why. And that worries me – a lot! Well done. It’s something poetry should do.
An awesome heroine you’ve cooked up here!
Lovely piece :)
wow, i love what came out of this, Kim! one of the best i’ve seen from you…it worked very well. x
Thanks, Dana. This was a fun assignment that dovetailed nicely with a piece I’d already begun.
Thought provoking, disturbing, and oddly liberating. I enjoyed the read, re-read and comments. I think these varying perceptions are fascinating. Exquisitely realized!