I’ve spent decades battling

Increasing size

And changing shape.

Has ever before

A warrrior

Fought so long?  So hard?

Earning neither prize nor peace?

I vowed to aim for size eight,

Accept size ten,

And never -ever- enter the realm of larger-than-that.

Butt.

I am on the cusp.

Size twelve beckons,

Promising comfort and ease.

Is it the Siren? The Serpent?

I am tempted.

I’ve worked so hard, so long.

Can I not yet put the fight behind me?

Can I not yet retire?

The NIKE ReBUTTal that Makes Me Rethink…

Fridays, in the back of Mom’s car

Driving west on Foothill Boulevard

Scanning beer-bar parking lots for the truck.

Knew we’d find him, get his check, get some milk.

Plenty.

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

Sundays,  feeling trapped at home

The weekend’s case or two

Propelling his temper along with drunkenness.

Prayed he’d soon pass out, we’d have peace…peace and quiet.

Plenty.

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

Those school-girl years

Exhaustion threatening to overtake

Perpetually in classes and clubs and commitments

Focused on my exit, my survival, my happiness, my strategy.

Plenty

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

College days, weeks, months

Clerking, schooling, twice full time

Wedging  five-year’s work into 3 1/2.

Growing faith and confidence and a future.

Plenty.

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

The early career years, teaching

Foregoing other glory and gain

For acceptance, patience, tolerance – mine.

Learning, in preparation for familial happiness.

Plenty.

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

Built a family of my own

Marrying he who loved me from 17

Creating home and children – 1, 2, 3.

Formulating that which I’d conjured long ago.

Plenty

~

I had an attitude of plenty.

Knew I deserved it.

Focused on it. Got it.

Got it all, and then some.

Future, Family, Happiness, Love.

Plenty.

~