Anxiety Returned to Me

 

Anxiety

Returned to me.

Why?

We had an agreement,

You and I.

We worked it through, we made a deal, I figured you’d be gone.

But no.

Recognizing destination, path and plan ~ you came along.

WTH?

Habit? Memory? Trauma exacted long ago?

Irrelevant!

Damn you and be warned:

You’re unwelcome.

Your tricks and games, old news.

I’m movin’ on no matter how you coax and woo.

I don’t need you.

Get it?

GO.

I AM in control.

 

Tell me... How do you react to, banish, deal with anxiety?
Share what works, what doesn't, your thoughts on the topic.

Dysfunction

After I finished a novel replete with abysmal family dynamics and stultifying relationships, this poem popped up. Enjoy the image below and view many more, at  Cheryl Dolby ’s site, Healing Woman.
*
~
*

 

*
~
 *  

Repel the fear. 

Refuse the guilt. 

Do not believe the lies. 

No longer be 

Held hostage, 

Bound and gagged by family ties. 

Shuck that burden. 

Choose to move. 

Not stifled, paralyzed. 

Avoid that trap. 

There’s much to lose. 

Look forward, realize. 

Choice and options, they abound. 

Potential calls your name. 

When blood’s a burden, 

Wracked with fault, 

Move to love, away from shame. 

Recognize, deny deceit, 

And shun complicity. 

You’ve got to go. 

Must choose to grow. 

This is your destiny. 

  

Blue

 

Blue.

I know you.

Intimately.

Ours

Was my first

Long-term

Relationship.

With you,

I spent

Too many

Pacing late nights

and

Anxious, wee-hour mornings.

Blue.

Me and you

In the kitchen, stewing

On bent knees, pleading

On the interchange, scheming

Dreaming.

For years

You held court,

Torturously

Twisting the past,

Plaiting the present

and

Tainting my tomorrows.

Blue

I fought you.

With intellect, through sheer neglect

Using prayer and mantra

Swear and tantra

Battling long

And strong

Until finally, I knew

What to do

To vanquish you,

Blue.

~

It was so simple.

Add yellow.

Progression

She denied when first informed.

When she heard the girl was sick ~ and always would be.

“Not my daughter.”

“She’s brilliant. We prize that.”

~

She raged as illness unfolded.

Living the day-in, the day-out, fearing dreams would never come about.

“This is not our life!”

She had such plans. She cherished them. She clung.

~

She trembled when the crazy bubbled up.

When her fear, fueled by helplessness, boiled on over with it.

She’d always had control.

That’s how she lived.  She controlled.

~

She prayed when hope refused to settle in.

When getting through a day sans crisis was success.

“God can do miracles.”

“We need one. I’ll do whatever it takes.” She begged.

~

She mourned as miracles failed to manifest.

When she knew the girl was sick and always would be.

When she knew her mind was truly ill.

She, they, so prized it.

time

She loved when they spent time together.

When the girl chose to live and she chose to live beside her.

When she knew their plans had changed, but that the change was right and good.

They would move on. They would be well.

~

And now.

They rejoice.

She is ill, but lives, stays, well.

Lives, loves, learns. Well.

And ~ blessed be ~ brilliance, bravery, beauty ~ accompany.

They, too, are here to stay.

The Middle Age

Look.

Look here.

You’ll see it.

Epitome.

Female, feminine, defined, real.

Confident.

Strong.

Vibrant.

Brave.

All this,

And only at middle age.

Damn!

Watch.

Watch out.